Tuesday, April 26, 2005
this is how I look when I first wake up in the morning... hahaha cute? 
Butterfly Tales
3:53 AM
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emotions
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Lately, I had an emotional breakdown. It all happened when I finally moved out from the dump that I lived for 5 months while I stayed in CEBU. It wasn't a pleasant experience when we moved out and we feel relieved to have finally moved to a much better place. As I have mentioned not long ago, I am looking forward to have a place of my own. A place that can serve as my retreat, a place that I can have rest, peace and quiet and a place where I can relax... I am currently at my friends house and I really loved being at her house for the mere fact that I have the whole house all to myself during the day. I guess spending time alone can get someone into deep thinking. It was when I started to read this really beautiful book entitle Beautiful Girlhood. It's about a girl maturing to womanhood. It's a great book and something I love reading. I was confronted with one these questions "what is your purpose?" I had to think real hard. I take calls and after that then what? I couldn't find any answer beyond that.
It took me hours... and I simply gave up. I resolved the issue by thanking God for the opportunity I got. I am not about to give up something I worked hard for for the last 5 months. Let me make the most out of this opportunity and we'll go from here....
Butterfly Tales
3:25 AM
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a flickering hope
Monday, April 18, 2005
It feels sooo good to be home and to be writing this blog at home. It kinda saddens me in a way that tonight I shall be boarding the boat back to CEBU. I love CEBU as well but nothing beats being here in CDO, the place I call my home. So many places remind me of so many people. When I got here, it was as if I never left. I only had 3 days and 2 nights but it’s all worth it.
I kinda miss my bish… I never mentioned him in any of my blogs yet for fear that it might open memories that I have been trying to burry for the last 6 years. Don’t get me wrong, he’s perfect in many ways. Life goes on for the both of us but what he does not know is that even up to this point a big part of me keeps him as special. After all, he’s a really special guy, those one in a million kind of guy. What keeps me from keeping these feelings all to myself is for fear that he may no longer feel the same thing. I opened this one tin can where I have kept all of his love letters. It makes me cry all the time, remembering at how at one point in his life, I was his and he was mine. We loved each other dearly then but that was so long ago. I wonder if he remembers somehow. I never forgot that significant date that he and I used to spend. It was April 15 of 1999 at 12:18 AM. Talk about details, I am one person who remembers details. I never knew how emotions can be so strong. I have long fought to burry him, to let him be part of my past while I live my present and look forward to my future. I have given up since cause no matter what I try, no matter what I do, a part of me still loves him. I have loved him since, maybe I still do now and maybe I will. Even my bestfriend Rox does not understand how my feelings for Mike remained over the past years. Most people would think that maybe by now I have gotten over the feeling but I still haven’t. It hurt me when my ex once told me that he could not compare himself to a ghost. All those times that I thought I was loving someone else, I was wrong. I do not know what the future holds for us but life goes on and that I know is true.
Butterfly Tales
9:30 AM
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"Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You?"
Friday, April 15, 2005
You are... WAIT! - you're none of the Sins you're
an Angel!Perfect, or close enough, and annoyingly so! Did
you alwaysbehave so 'just right'. ARGHHH . You can annoy the
hell outtapeople with your attitude, but no doubt your church
is real happywith you. The positive side certainly outweighs the
negative,after all, you do chores, are smart, are cute, do
charity work.Least you know what a perfect saint you are. You
just make the restof us sinners vomit. Perhaps you could break the
rules once in a while, go wild - Eat an extra
cookie or something.However - congratulations on being the most pure,
of the entire human race.
Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You brought to you by
Butterfly Tales
7:08 AM
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"Which stunning spirit of emotion are you?"
Thursday, April 14, 2005
You are the Spirit of Love. You think around
romance and are extremely compassionate.
Whenever you want something you can get it due
to your fiery passion. You can make friends
quite easily, because peopole are attracted to
your obvious good nature. You will have no
trouble in finding a life partner and will be
very happy.
Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Butterfly Tales
9:43 AM
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"If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?"
Ok you are a romantic anime girl and you love and
care for a lot of people.There is no evil in
you soul or your heart.Though sometimes people
don't feelt he same way as you do you keep on
trying to change their mind.You love to help
people out and you are always happy.Keep on
trying to make the whole world smile because
you know smiles are contagious ^_^.Oh and if it
seems like there is nobody who could love you
as much as you could love them it doesn't
matter the thing is that the only thing that
matters is that he cares and loves you and it
doesn't matter how much well maybe it does but
don't set you standards to high cuz then you'll
find nobody
If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?
Butterfly Tales
9:38 AM
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"Which Alcoholic Drink Are You?"
~~~
Tests, tests and tests...
Again, thanks to training, it gave me time to upload my blog. I took a lot of these tests on www.quizilla.com. I certainly hope that you guys will have fun taking these tests as well. I know it does not entirely reveal the truth about ourselves but it's been fun taking them anyways. My favorite of all is the "What Sign of Affection Are You?" test. I find it really cute and romantic and perfectly describes MEH.
I heard recent news that we are no longer allowed to surf on other sites and that includes blogging. Everything has to be work related now. Oh well, there goes nothing. As much as I would like to get pissed off at the new security policy, there's really nothing much I can about it. I mean, I understand that the company imposes such policy for security reasons. WHATEVER! I have always been an honest worker, I don't cheat my way in or out. I stick by the rules whether I like them or not. It's unfair why they impose such policies on me when I have been honest since. But still, it's beyond my control. I'm blogging now while I still can.
Tomorrow will be our nesting for training and I only need to review my notes, be confident and once again, embrace the queue. This is my life after all. I will live it and love it!
Butterfly Tales
8:21 AM
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Which colour of Death is yours?
~~~
What Kind of Girl Are You?
You're a romantic girl. You're kind, caring, loveing, and peaceful. You spend a lot of your time dreaming and you're not afraid to express deep emotion, whether it be in a poem, diary, or words. You hope for love and affection from your prince charming. I have a feeling he will come around soon.
What kind of girl are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Butterfly Tales
6:11 AM
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"What Type of Killer Are You?"
You are an assassin. That means you are a proffessional and do your job without mixing any emotions in it. In your life you have probably been hurt many times and have gotten some mental scars. This results in you being distant from people. Though many think that you are evil, you are not. What you really are is a person, trying to forget your pain and past. You are the person who never seems to care and that is why being an assassin fits you good. Atleast, that's what people think. Even if you don't care that much for your victims, you still have the ability to care and to generally feel. It is not lost, just a little forgotten. In crowds you tend to not get to noticed, and dress in black or other discrete colours. You don't being in the spotlight and wish people would just leave you alone. But once you do get close to someone you have a hard time letting go and get real down if you loose him/her.
Main weapon: Sniper
Quote: "The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy" -Jim Rohn
Facial expression: Narrowed eyes
What Type of Killer Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Butterfly Tales
5:54 AM
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"What Is Your Inner Soul Trying To Say?"
Your inner soul is content with the way it is. In general you are a very sweet, caring person! You love to kick back and hang out with your friends, but you also enjoy time by yourself to read a book and catch up on your studies. You love the wildlife and you can always seem to make the day better. Your lover is the luckiest man in the world because people like you are rare to come across. You love life but always still have your head in reality.
What Is Your Inner Soul Trying To Say?
brought to you by Quizilla
Butterfly Tales
5:47 AM
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"What Sign of Affection Are You?"
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed
What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Butterfly Tales
5:24 AM
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"What wise quote fits you?"
Your wise quote is: "Be kind to unkind people, they probably need it the most" by Ashleigh Brilliant.
You try to look beyond apperance, try to give people second chances and are probably very kind. Understanding is your biggest personality trait, and thoose you can see through should be grateful. If they aren't already. You detest narrow minded people, because they can't see what's really there. Facades is not your thing and you strive to always be who you really are.
What wise quote fits you? brought to you by Quizilla
Butterfly Tales
5:15 AM
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"What Lies Behind Your Eyes?"
In your eyes, people see life... You see yourself as just an average person! You enjoy life, love wildlife, but also enjoy time with those who know you best. You like to get outdoors and let your mind wander over all of the mysteries god gave to you. You don't really have a certain sanctuary because you're so well-rounded, but you like having fun and adventures, but can also be found sitting quietly about, reading a book. You have a pretty good life ahead of you, never trade it for anything else :)
What Lies Behind Your Eyes?
brought to you by Quizilla
Butterfly Tales
4:29 AM
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Before I left CDO
Butterfly Tales
2:08 AM
~~~
Meh meh... and being Vain
I have stopped craving for attention especially from the opposite sex since I had my debut 3 years ago. I guess my raging hormones slowly subsided since then. I have been content wearing clothes that I am comfortable on, irregardless of the fact if it is trendy or not. I only had one major rule though and that is to never look sloppy but to always look, feel and smell neat and clean. But lately that contentment has changed. Just a month ago I updated my wardrobe, I bought 4 pieces of baby tees in different colors, a black blouse, one in cream, one in orange with a little yellow detail, another blue baby tee with pink detail, one in navy blue for summer and the list goes on... The biggest purchase of all is a pair of cream-colored mules that I really love and makes me feel sexy! I have never purchased this much wardrobe in my entire life. I felt guilty after splurging my salary on clothes. Come to think of it, the money I spent was hard earned so I have no reason to be guilty on anything. I shocked everyone when I wore a mini skirt, black blouse and my mules. I thought I looked ok on it. But not the really the regular clothes I wear.
So, I'm writing this blog for me. To remind that I am capable of being vain and at some point, I do crave for attention. Sucks big time but the good thing about it is that it only means I care for myself. The truth is, I am happy for who I am. I try to be as honest and as true to myself. I try not to hide the REAL me from the REAL world. I took several personality tests courtesy of quizilla.com. I "accidentally" bumped to that page when I "happen" to always check on Peter Pan's blog to check for updates but he never does. I guess getting promoted has its price. I hope you guys won't mind when I post several of them, ey take the quiz yourself by just clicking on the link after each description. In conclusion, I really don't mind being vain at times but I hope I will not be completely VAIN all throughout... I have yet to discover how to lose the excess fat that have accumulated throught the months I have been here. I'm having a difficult time to breathe lately. I'm sure there's hope for me to lose these pounds. I'm like a balloon, and this time I hope it won't be that difficult to lose weight.
Butterfly Tales
1:44 AM
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Simply Gorgeous
Butterfly Tales
1:43 AM
~~~
I'm going home
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
I am finally able to visit home... it's a visit... I wish I can stay much longer but my schedule only permits me to stay overnight. Not only can I visit this weekend, I am really thankful that at least, even if it's only for a week, I had the chance to be normal. My training starts by 6am and ends at 2pm. This gives me time to do other stuff between 2pm until 7pm and the plus factor is being able to sleep at night. zZzZzZzZ... I feel so refreshed despite the fact that I have never been a morning person. More than that, I'm thankful for the chance to visit my hometown. I kinda miss the feel of having a comfortable house to go home to after a hard day's work. Sit on our huge couch and play with our dog jewel. I can't wait to watch the sun rise from my own bedroom window and share funny bloopers on the floor with my family on, all of which are actually true. I have been wishing or rather praying for the chance to visit home even for a day and God has His own of answering my prayers... never too late, never too early, but always on time. I can't wait!!! I've packed my things already. hehehe I have carefully planned my itinerary and my outfit as well. Hehehehe I thank this friend of mine who is kind enough to let me stay at her place for 10 days until I finally transfer to this new place. The rent is reasonable for a clean, safe and really comfortable place. I have stayed in a dump for five month now... The only reason why I have endured those months was the fact that my current boarding house is conveniently located near where I work. This time, I can no longer compensate cleanliness for convenience. I honestly don't care if I live 30 mins away from where I work as long as I know I am safe and it's clean. To top the good news of getting regularized, I get to visit home, I get to transfer to a much better place. Things are going well for now... So, so far, so good.
Butterfly Tales
3:33 AM
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5th month
I thought that I might change template for the month. I find the color green quite relaxing to look at. I have been an absent blogger lately but thanks to training, it's giving me time off from taking calls from irate callers and staring at the computer for at least 8 hours a day. I wonder how I'm gonna cope up with the new training. It's for a week and an addition to my already information drowned mind. Up for some good news, I just received my 5th month appraisal. I was endorsed by my sup Anine to be reglarized signed by team manager Arjay. I am really thankful cause it only secures my position in the company. I made a decision when I first got this job to at least stay for a year in this company to make the most out of this opportunity. I had to go undergo training first, and during training, we were only allowed to fail one test, every day was a test for us and we had to cramm loads of information on online travel for a month. I thought it was too much to bear but then I passed training. Then came A-bay, I had to feel what it's like to be on the floor, to take calls and embrace the queue. I had to sacrifice spending Christmas and New Year at the office. In all my life, I have always spent Holidays with my family, but last year I had to share those precious moments with my childhood friend and his family. I'm not complaining, I am only pointing out some of the things I have sacrificed. I made it this far and it only brings good news when my previous sup endorsed me for regularization. It contributes to my confidence but still I need to work on my AHT. I am every inch thankful, think of it, there are millions out there out looking for a job and who slave under harsh elements of the weather. This is NOT the best job in the world but despite that fact, it's so much better than not having a job at all...
Butterfly Tales
1:45 AM
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inconsequential thoughts...
Friday, April 01, 2005
I find it difficult to be heard, we all have feelings and rights that we honestly want to communicate. Maybe to only one person and maybe to everyone who cares, but more importantly we all want to be acknowledged as human being with feelings, capable to love and be loved in return.
Butterfly Tales
4:57 AM
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