Purple Butterfly

the-warmth-of-friendship-

Sunday, July 24, 2005

the-warmth-of-friendship-,
originally uploaded by beautiful purple butterfly.

I feel much better now. These are the moments that I feel lonely and blue. I went to the mall today after church to have lunch and even after a very powerful message, the "humanness" in me, with all its frailties, shortcomings and failures is tempted to feel miserable. I was walking around to kill time and even while my mind was occupied by the faces and things around me I felt a pang of loneliness in my heart. I wanted someone to hold me, to listen to me, to ask how my week was and to talk without the fear of being judged. I know my friends and my bestfriend would be there to listen or at least pretend to listen but I know that they are preoccupied with problems of their own and they can only do so much for me, their lives need some repairing that adding my burden to them is enough. They are wonderful friends who have helped me in ways they may not be aware of. So, I decided to just be alone and enjoy the time for myself. I bumped into an officemate who was on his way to check in at Marriot hotel to spend time with his wife. This officemate of mine married at a very young age by the way. Envy started to creep inside my heart. I wanted to spend time alone with someone, in a warm embrace and in a cozy atmosphere. I shrugged the feeling off. It would be of no use to envy at this point cause in the first place, I don't have anyone close enough to spend intimate moments with. I was reminded the other day that I have every reason to be happy and content with the current state that I am in. Being single means I can afford to go wherever I may please and best of all being single means that I am also available for whatever plans God has in store for me. If it His plan for me to be with somebody today then I have no doubt I will be spending time with that person. But for now, I continue to remind myself that I am to enjoy my time being single. This may only be a temporary state. Who knows, the very person that I desire to be with is being transformed into the person that will cherish me. Day after day is a lesson for me as well. That instead of allowing that pang of loneliness to have a grip over me, I decided to run to God and open the Bible and there I discovered wonderful truths about Him and His plan for my life. Why did God gave His word in the first place? Cause we are very limited, we have nothing to boast of, not even our riches, our achievements or our status in the society. We need His word to guide us, to nurture us, to rebuke us and to save us from unnecessary pains. Without God, we are nothing and our lives will have no meaning and purpose no matter what we try to achieve and it will only be like a cycle that never ends. True enough, I am not living a perfect life, I fail many times but I can trust a perfect God who will never leave me and whose grace and mercy is sufficient for me everyday.

Butterfly Tales
1:42 PM

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