Purple Butterfly

Remembering

Thursday, September 13, 2007

I was glad that my Kuya came for a visit with his wife Angeli tonight. I have a thing for family dinner, lunches, breakfast or anything involving the family. It was my first time seeing Anj with her burgeoning belly and oh my am I excited to see the little thing growing inside her belly. It's gonna be the first apo on both sides of the family. Serves right cause both of them are the eldest. Here's a picture of their lil one and I can say that this kid has a striking resemblance to my kuya so I am calling him my little Kuya. I am definite that this baby is gonna be showered with so much love from everyone. I hope he's not gonna grow spoiled.

I've decided that tonight is gonna be my last night here in CDO and as with the other nights before, it makes me and my parents sad that I will be leaving. I talked with my papa and he told me how disappointed he is at me for not coming home yet. Well, I've done a lot of thinking since I came home and I know it's best for me to stay home. But before I leave everything behind, I will make sure to fix everything before I leave, make sure that all ends will be tightened so I can live peaceably back here in CDO. I am excited to go home and stay here before I plan my next move. I know I will be leaving people behind in Cebu but it's so much harder leaving the people who love me unconditionally. It won't be long from now. I can feel it...

Butterfly Tales
3:54 PM

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My place called home

Monday, September 10, 2007

My bestfriend Alma sent me a very honest message, one that made me realize that I have been so out of touch with those who are closest to me. It was really hard to admit that my world revolved around work and my beau? or maybe ex-beau... I had a close friend come up to me one time and said that he hasn't seen me hanging out with my group of friends he labeled as Nerds. I realized those who truly cared for me when I was admitted at the hospital. The doctor diagnosed me with a bleeding disorder with no known cause or treatment. It's a rare case. I started to spit large amounts of blood that was first suspected coming from my ruptured tonsils. The amount was so large that the source could be coming somewhere other than the tonsils. After several tests, they found out that my vital organs are all intact, it's not ulcer, tb or anything with the liver. I cannot thank God enough that my health is not in its worse condition yet. My mom came to see me on the day I was discharged at the hospital and since my place is not a conducive place for rest, she can't even cook good food for me and there wasn't enough space for the both of us to sleep on we decided to sail for Cagayan de Oro on that same night. The doctor did not have to issue any medication but I will be under observation. There were really times that I felt a salty taste on my mouth, a signal that I would be spitting blood anytime and it was when I would pray the hardest. For one, when I was at the hospital, I was mostly alone and it was a scary experience seeing all those blood come out from my mouth and no one helping me out. I didn't want to go through it alone. I know for a fact that my health deteriorated because I have been feeling lonely, I have been feeling all the pressure at work, my finances are not in good shape and I have been having problems with my beau. All these were enough to send me straight to the hospital. Being the great parents that they are, they didn't care about the cost, they just wanted me to be home with them so I can recuperate well. So here I am at home, surfing the web, eating all the good food and enjoying the company of the people who love me no matter what. I needed this break and to realize a lot of things in my life. I went to see another doctor today and he said that just by basing on the tests conducted, I have nothing to be worried about but to take ample amounts of rest, good food and a lot of tender loving care. That's exactly what I am getting since I came home. It's been great being home. I can't think of any best place in the world but home. I wish to thank the nerds for being with me the entire time, Krishna for staying overnight and for helping when I was discharged, Nikki for the food and Debbie for taking the time to visit me. You girls are lovely and having you all makes life easier. I had a really pretty nurse who accompanied me during lab tests, she was so patient, pleasant and a very sweet girl, she was one of the interns of Cebu Doc. I never had the chance to thank her, thank you Diane King. And to everyone else who paid me a visit, for taking time out of their busy schedule to drop by, to my cousin Pangkoy for staying overnight and everyone else who prayed for me and silently supported me the entire time. And of course to my family, my mom and papa especially. For loving despite of many things. I'll never forget this experience ever. I thank God for keeping me and for just allowing me to rest through this. I owe you my life Lord.

Cebu Doc Rm 523 with the Nerds

Butterfly Tales
1:20 PM

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My Birthday

Sunday, September 09, 2007

I am very new to uploading a video on blog so I am trying this one out. This was taken on my birthday last May 25, 2007. That was the last time I spent time with my family, just all five of us before welcoming a new addition. My kuya was to be wed the day after so this birthday lunch meant a lot to me. My papa was fussing over Kaloi's Barong and that I found amusing.

Butterfly Tales
5:57 PM

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things to say

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Four in the Morning

Gwen Stefani

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have

& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)

There’s just so much to say and I would rather say them all in a song. I am liking this song by Gwen cause I can identify with the lyrics somehow. It’s true that I do not want anything less than everything cause I know for a fact that I can give all of me. And that is every part of my being. It’s really hard to explain how I am feeling right now so let this song just say it all.

Gotta Go My Own Way

Gabriella & Troy (High School Musical 2 Soundtrack

Gabriella
I gotta say what’s in my mind
Something about us
doesn’t seem right these days
life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan
is always rearranged
It’s so hard to say
But I’ve gotta do what’s best for me
You’ll be okay
I’ve go to move on and be who I am
I just don’t belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own away
Don’t wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
and I watch them fall everytime
Another colour turns to grey
and it’s just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away
I’m leaving today ‘coz
I’ve gotta do what’s best for me
you’ll be okay
I’ve got to move on and be who I am
I just don’t belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own away

Troy
What about us?
What about everything we’ve been through?

Gabriella
What about trust?

Troy
You know I never wanted to hurt you

Gabriella
And what about me?

Troy
What am I supposed to do?

Gabriella
I gotta leave but I’ll miss you

Troy
I’ll miss you

Gabriella
So I’ve got to move on and be who I am

Troy
Why do you have to go?

Gabriella
I just don’t belong here
I hope you understand

Troy
I’m trying to understand

Gabriella
We might find our place in this world someday
but at least for now

Troy
I want you to stay

Gabriella
I wanna go my own way
I’ve got to move on and be who I am

Troy
What about us?

Gabriella
I just don’t belong here
I hope you understand

Troy
I’m trying to understand

Gabriella
We might find our place in this
world someday
but at least for now
I gotta go my own away (3x)

Butterfly Tales
1:36 AM

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