Purple Butterfly

fading

Thursday, June 30, 2005

strandsp, originally uploaded by beautiful purple butterfly.

Bright light
beauty that blinds...

My screaming voice
in the darkness

darkness
fading in the light

take me or find me
like a dust in the wind

Butterfly Tales
10:42 PM

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goodbye

goodbye
Originally uploaded by beautiful purple butterfly.

I sit here and I wait... nothing... simply nothing...

Butterfly Tales
1:53 AM

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Hope for the hopeless

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

It has been an emotional roller coaster ride lately. It's difficult how to describe what I feel. Just a week ago I passed everything required from me for my job and even earned a space on our AHT hitter bulletin board. Just recently, I receive 3 surveys for a score of 0%. I know some people may not feel bad about it but it's like getting a failure from a subject in school. I have been in this business for 7 months now and it's a bit frustrating to be receiving unsatisfied customers. I know there are circumstances beyond my control and it is at these moments that I need to remember that my joy and my peace is not dependent on anyone or anything but to the ONE who created me and who secures my future.

Jeremiah 29:11 -

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Butterfly Tales
2:40 AM

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Sudden Change

Monday, June 13, 2005

Why the sudden change in the content of my blogs? The answer is simple: a sudden change of heart.

2 Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore, if any one is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, behold, the new has come.

I do not wish to change the template of this blog for it perfectly illustrates me. The change in me is more on the inside. I have realized after the camp I have attended last June 03, 2005 to June 05, 2005 that Gods word brings life. I have felt His presence, no words are able to able to describe the mere presence of God. His presence is able to give me the strength and has effectuated change in me. By the power of Gods word, I am able to resist temptation and is able to be joyful in any circumstances. I recently discovered blogs of alex and abbey and I am thankful for their boldness to share God's love in what they write in their blogs. I have to be honest that I haven't been showing God's goodness even in the things I write, I give way to my own needs and desires without giving God a second thought. Without remembering what Christ did on the cross for me. No wonder many times I have fallen short of what His will for my life is. No wonder there was no true peace, joy and contentment. Each time I read their blogs, I always end up feeling refreshed and peaceful inside. It is not because they only talk about themselves but they relate their own lives to the beauty of what Jesus did on the cross for them. They include verses of scripture. I am not trying to imitate them but I am making a choice that if I am to take time to write blogs, I will do it for the glory of God in Christ Jesus. What better way than to share His words and relate them to my own personal relationship with Jesus.

Hebrews 4:12 - For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Colossians 3:16 - Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Luke 6:47 - Every one who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: 48 he is like a man building a house, who dug deep, and laid the foundation upon rock; and when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house, and could not shake it, because it had been well built. 49 But he who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation; against which the stream broke, and immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great."

I have come to realize that each time I read blogs from other people, to me, they are but a grain of sand. Just among the thousands and the millions out there screaming and shouting, wanting to be heard and cared. Is it not a wonder why people find time to write the most exciting part of their life so they will be noticed. I am not generalizing my opinion but in my observation, every one wants to have a glimpse of a persons life through his or her blog. I pray that my blog entries will give people a glimpse of God's goodness. No longer the self-centered, "I want" attitude.

Butterfly Tales
11:38 PM

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Tell me Why?

Saturday, June 11, 2005

It is easy for most of us to neglect God in favor of our own desires, our own opinions and our own thoughts. As a Christian, I am reminded that I am in a dying world and people need to know what God has done for them. I will not stop to share the joy of knowing Christ. My prayer in my heart is the passion to let others know about God's love. What makes a Christian stand out? It is God's presence. Let us look at is in Exodus when Moses was speaking with the Lord.

Exodus 13 Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found favor in thy sight, show me now thy ways, that I may know thee and find favor in thy sight. Consider too that this nation is thy people." 14 And he said, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." 15 And he said to him, "If thy presence will not go with me, do not carry us up from here. 16 For how shall it be known that I have found favor in thy sight, I and thy people? Is it not in thy going with us, so that we are distinct, I and thy people, from all other people that are upon the face of the earth?" 17

I just received a commendation from my sup that I passed all the metrics for my job this week. It feels great knowing that things are looking better even after the day I "let go" of my emotional attachment. I praise God for showing me that He is faithful. And when He takes away something, He never replaces it with the BEST. He has our best interest in mind.

Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

I never heard from him since that day and my mind sometimes wonder about him and what is happening to him. I am reminded that in all my thoughts I would take it captive to obey Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5 - We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle to the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

I pray for him still. I pray that more than anything, I pray for his salvation and that he may come to know Christ. Even if it takes breaking him and bringing him to the end of himself that he can cry to no one else but God. I am thankful and continue to be thankful for the times. God will use every part of my life for His Glory.

Luke 19:10 - For the Son of man came to seek and to save the lost."

Every day is a new day and an opportunity to praise God. I entrust everything to God as I continue to have faith like a child that someday we will be together, maybe not on earth but in heaven someday. Oh what a beautiful place heave is...

To Jesus alone all glory and praises...

Butterfly Tales
3:53 AM

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God's Love

Thursday, June 09, 2005

The beauty of God's love is that it transforms. He takes away what is ugly and transforms it to something beautiful. A beauty that is beyond compare. I am thankful cause I can be confident that even in my trials, He is at work in my life through His salvation on the cross. I can never comprehend how much God loves me. There are several verses in the Bible that speaks of God's love for all of us. Here are some of them:

John 15:13 - Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Romans 8:35 - Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Romans 8:39 - nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I have seen Him working in my life and in those around me, it resulted to joy, peace and contentment. We all long for satisfaction. We look for some form of it in things, in achievements and many times in people. Familiar with the line "You complete me?" Most of the time we are blinded and think that a person can satisfy our needs, maybe our friends or our family or even material things. Not long ago, I have realized that is not true. Human as we are, we are limited in our own abilities. We long for achievements and when we have attained them, we are never truly satisfied. Many have failed to recognize that satisfaction can only come in knowing JESUS. I have been rejected, abandoned and hurt even by those I dearly love and who claim love me but JESUS suffered more for me. I cannot imagine how painful it was when the Father forsaken Him for me. So I can be free, free from SIN and the consequences of my sins.

Butterfly Tales
8:25 PM

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Letting you go...

Monday, June 06, 2005

It was not easy. I had battled within me and have thought that I have overcome and is victorious in the battle. It was a war raging within me, and the cycle keeps repeating itself. I have blinded myself that by supposedly "loving" someone else I have freed myself from my attachment towards this certain guy. He has been a large and tremendous piece of me and though I have denied it countless times, the memory of him has become but an excess baggage. No wonder I never felt free. That despite certain measures, I have failed miserably in acknowledging that the reason I am never set free is that I have never let him go. I have held on to a flickering hope, nothing more than a dying ember. The hope of ending up with him was still there that despite the distance and the absence, I have kept him in my heart. But today, it's different I made a firm decision that I will no longer hold on to that flickering hope but to surrender to HIM who controls the universe. I have kept the ring he gave me and have held it close and dear to me without realizing that it had already become a symbol of my attachment to him. It was clear as daylight that I never gotten over him yet but I chose to be blind. I chose to believe that I am able to move on in life with that symbol. I was greatly wrong. I had to give it up, I became used to seeing my hand with that ring, it makes me feel naked if I don't see that ring with me, a clear indicative that I have a part of him with me always. I longed to praise God and to experience the fulness of His grace and love towards me. Unless I was willing to give up the "dime-store necklace" I have cherished, He will never be able to show me His sufficiency in my life "a strand of genuine pearls." I made a decision today and believe me when I say it was not easy giving up my "dime-store necklace" I have learned to love it and cherished and I have held on to it for as long as I can. I took off the ring and left it somewhere that I can never take it back. It was an act that I am giving up that that I have cherished. I gave it up in faith that God will take what is fleeting and replace it with something more concrete and substantial. Now, I am walking with a lighter load and as if wearing my contact lens for the first time, I get a better view, a clearer picture to the direction that I should go. He will be but a memory, nothing more but a memory of a boy I once loved... that's all. It broke my heart giving him up and this time, I mean it. Whenever I feel tempted to look back, I will remember that I have given him up. I am in high hopes that things will become better and brighter in the days to come. Nothing compares to the real thing and the real thing is God's love for me. I will continue to remember that God bought me for a price, the price of His own precious blood in exchange for my life. I can never fathom His love for me. I made a decision, a decision I know that will change my life forever.

Butterfly Tales
3:56 PM

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a long nice story worth reading

A genuine pearl

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box. "Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?" Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face. "A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma." As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace. Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere - Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green. Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, ! he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her astory. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?" "Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you." "Then give me your pearls." "Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess - the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite." "That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?" "Daddy, you know I love you." "Then give me your pearls." "Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her slipper." "That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you" And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek. "What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you." With tears gathering in his own eyes,Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls! and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure. So as it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasure. Isn't God good? Are you holding onto things which God wants you to let go of? Are you holding on to harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits and activities which you have come so attached to that it seems impossible to let go of? Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand, but do believe this one thing..................God will never take away something without giving you something better to take its place.

Butterfly Tales
3:54 PM

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Finally

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Now I can finally say...

I spent the last week at home. I wasn't really "home" for the first few days cause I decided to be a counselor for our church youth camp. I celebrated my bday in a unique way and what's best was that I didn't have to spend a single cent from my pocket. Somebody had sponsore good lunch that day. Anyways, while I was there, I spent the last day meeting my ex and his bestfriend. For awhile, i feared that when I meet him, I might still bear feelings for him, that maybe after all this time, I may still be pining over him and in high hopes to fan the flame of our once love. I had to face my demon, my ghost, my phantom. I'm thankful for his bestfriend who has always been a great help to the both of us. I saw him and I have seen how his eyes have grown deeper. I no longer see the glow that he once had when I was falling in love with him. He was to me like any other ordinary friend I have. There was nothing in him that reminded me of how I used to love him soo much that I'd give up everything for him. I sat there across him and smiling as ever. I'm completely OVER him. He told me about his dreams and his plans, and to me it didn't matter anymore. He was interested about my future and I simply replied that I am enjoying my time and I look forward to better days ahead. I'm glad I took the time to meet my ex. It only proved that feelings do change and that no matter how much you may have loved a person, it can change... any flame can die... I am happy that it did.

Finally,

After all these years, I have many times wished to see the guy that i have often dreamed about... I remember at one point that I felt that if I could have but one choice, I would choose this guy. I remember how I painted a picture of our future together when God reminded me that my LIFE is in HIS hands. I have dreamt of him lately and how it would feel just being with him, and tonight, I got one of the wonderful surprises in life. I look forward to build even just a droplet of memory with him... finally...

Butterfly Tales
5:50 PM

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