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Beautiful Purple Butterfly



> A life lived before God

> Having a child-like faith, believing and trusting in God in every circumstance

> It's my silver year this 2008

> Loves: JESUS, my family, brewed coffee, chocolates, the beach, sunrise and sunsets, the clouds, cookies, the color purple and blue, butterflies

> I am: a daughter/ a sister/ a friend/ a cousin/ a teacher/ an online travel specialist/ an employee/ a bestfriend/ a roommate/ an atenean/ montessorian/ a hopeless romantic/ one man - woman/ a teammate/ Sio beh/ unica ija/ Gemini/ bio grad/ petite

> Frustrated: artist, painter, actress, singer, writer, athelete, doctor, nurse, pianist, guitarist, marine biologist

> Dreams: to travel around the world, a stable future family, a faithful and loving future hubby, 2 kids, marry someone I can be my bestfriend

> Enjoys: travelling, long rides on a bus or a car, a walk in the beach, conversations over coffee, reading books, classic music, classis stories, singing with the piano, time with my family, a kiss on the forehead, hugs, laughing, watching sunsets and sunrise, good food, fresh air, painting, crafts, teaching, book hunting, bargain shopping, green mangoes with bagoong

> mah friendster and mah email: nfortich@gmail.com


Butterfly Past

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Daily Devotional

brokenhearted

Thursday, October 27, 2005


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I wish I were a robot sometimes, mechanical and completely void of emotions. Everyday for almost a year now I have been dealing with problems that customer have for their travel around US and around the world. I am working at the largest online travel agency around the world. I couldn't even begin to count the number of faceless callers I have assisted. I don't mean to complain or sound ungrateful. I take pride in my job and in what I do cause it�s not an easy task. I wish my company would pay us even more for the hassle we go through everyday. It�s a very challenging job physically, emotionally and mentally. No matter how much I try not to become emotional on each call, I can�t help but become affected during difficult calls. I work graveyard and it�s not normal. Sleep has become a luxury for me. I am in for this very challenging task. The question is, how long will I have the courage and the strength to go on each day? My answer: for as long as I still have a reason.




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Life and its beauty

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

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It's true that life is so full of surprises. In a matter days, I will be saying good bye to my sched, to my teammates and to my sup. I will be welcoming a new sched, I start at 10PM and end by 9AM, I work 4 days a week and rest days on SUN, MON and TUE. It's my first time to work on an 11X4 shift and they have not announced my new sup yet. I'm not even sure who my new teammates are but in a week or so. I pray for the strength to go on with this job. A year of working graveyard is really a torture. A lot of us are working this late for the money and some of us for the lack of opportunity. I am working graveyard cause I had no choice. The priority number I had for my new sched did not allow me to select for the sched that I find convenient for me. I know that all things work together for good and I continue to hold on to that hope that everything will work out fine. I cannot neglect the fact that physically I am tired, I desire to have a normal life soon and I know it won't happen unless I decide to quit my job, find a new one or wait for the next schedule which will happen 3-4 months from now. I know that there are still a lot of opportunities for me out there. For now, I will just suck it in. Be patient and wait for good things to happen. I am not sad nor depressed, just tired.

I look forward to seeing my friends whom I have not seen for maybe a year now. I miss them. I just realized that it's difficult moving from one place to another cause you leave a part of you behind, memories, and friends. Like what I always tell myself life goes on and I am happy to have shared a part of my life.

My mom called me yesterday and we were talking. I told her how I happy I am being single, and my friend is right that being alone does not mean that you are lonely. There are times that I feel lonely but the feeling just passes. Again, I'd rather suffer the pain of momentary loneliness than the pain of a lifetime regret. She had told me that if situations get better for my family, she'd allow me to travel first rather than settle down. I honestly cannot think of settling down at this time cause in the first place I don't have anyone that I'd want to settle down with. True that every now and then I get a crush on someone and then the feeling is so fleeting. Not that I'd rather settle down than travel, I dreamt to travel around places and I just don't want to travel alone. I want to explore places and culture but I would not want to do those things alone. I hope that someday I'll share that same dream with someone who's worth waiting for. I am determined to wait and not lose my chances. In the meantime, I'll have to build a career for myself and enjoy being single. Who knows? I may not be single forever.





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Home is where the heart is

Thursday, October 20, 2005

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That's me and my sup GNET from one of our team outings. It was a blue day that day. For the past 2 months we have tried several ways to shed off some gooey fat from our stummies, to our hips, butt and thighs due to the food binges we are almost always guilty of. We worked our way through Tae Bo and aerobics sessions every week. It was great having a Tae Bo buddy who would stick with me rain or shine. It was even taxing on our part because of our shift 12AM-9AM, we sleep at around 11AM-1PM, wake up by 4PM-5PM to be on time for Aerobics and Tae bo by 5:30PM. It also became an outlet where we can just vent out our frustrations through kicks and punches and laughing our hearts out for trying out so hard to perfect every move. It even gave us time to talk about personal stuff like her bubbly lovelife while mine is non-existent. It was worth waking up for, having to commute and trying to sleep again by 8PM so that we'll wake up refreshed for our shift. Lately, we have changed our routine, instead of having to commute, pay for fare and entrance fee, GNET had an idea of just working out in her house. She has a tape on belly dancing, we can play badminton, or just use the treadmill. She reasons out that she is trying to save enough money for rainy days. She had a point so she invited me over to stay at her house this week. I am not used to sleep overs and sleeping on beds other than my own or hanging out in houses other than my own. I was brought up by my parents to never sleep over in other houses unless I needed to. It was ok for my friends to sleep over at my house anytime as long as I am at home with mi mama and mi papa. GNET and I shares the same upbrining. She and I are unica ijas and both middle child. Compared to her, she has a more pampered life. Our age gap is only a year so it's so difficult reaching out to each other. Just imagine the concern of my mom when I texted her that I have been staying at my direct supervisors house. Her being my sup and me being her agent did not affect the bond that we have shared lately either at work or outside of it. I can safely call that bond as friendship. It is a known fact rather that I am not the only person that my sup has invited to her house. She has adopted a lot of her friends inside their home. They come and go anytime they please and her family has enjoyed their company in the many years now. I miss the atmosphere of home, of family, of brothers and maids. My stay at GNETs has provided me all those comfort that I have longed for for the past months. Although the feeling is not entirely homey and comfortable but it feels great to be in a home once a while even is it's not my own. I love my own home of course but it takes a boat ride away compared to GNETs which is only 2 jeepney rides away from where I am currently renting. I love the place where I am at but sometimes it feels good to be in a home once in awhile. Did I just repeat myself? hehehe Growing up, I never had a sister, obviously and not even a close female cousin that I can bond with. Being friends with GNET also gave me the feel of what its like to have a sister around. I have many thanks to two of my bestfriends and girlfriends in between who somehow filled in the shoes of being a sis to me back in highschool and in college. Roxelle was like a sis to me back in highschool, Gaaad, we were classmates and neighbors at the same time until she had to transfer to CEBU and DAVAO after 2 years in SHJMS. I was technically 'bestfriendless' for 4 years until I met Alma when I was already in second year college majoring in BIO at XU. We were classmates in almost every subject and what I loved about alma was that even though cheating was so rampant those days, we never used each other as cheatmates. We both worked hard, studied and shared notes and leakages. We always cheered each other up when the going got so tough in school and our so-called lovelife. duh! Makes me wanna puke remembering those times crying over our exes. My GAAAAD! hahaha She's in Manila and how I miss her company. God has been so good to me that he always sends someone in my path to be my friend and sister. And though words of love are unspoken at times but the feeling and the atmosphere is evident.

I have been wanting to quit my job but I ain't a quitter. I just feel that way whenever I feel pressured, lonely, or depressed over certain situations. It's not that I don't want change or that I fear change, heck I didn't even fear uprooting myself from my comfort zone in just 2 weeks. I enjoy the freedom that I have and it scares me sometimes that I have the power to abuse it. This freedom that I have is a privilege and I am making the most out of it. In time, I will find a new a job, a much better career, and one that can sustain me and my family whom I love and miss so much.

Have I ever mentioned that I am so proud of both my boys? I mean my brothers. My kuya Paolo and my Kaloi. My kuya is becoming the most admirable guy could ever be. He is making a name for himself, he is honest and hardworking. I didn't think that he was serious when he announced one day that he was gonna run for mayor in the future. It does help that our family or should I say our family name FORTICH comes from a long list of public officials dating way back during the spanish period in the PHILS, particularly in BUKIDNON. I am sure that my kuya isn't just one of those who dream of becoming mayor to please his relatives or friends and not even for the sole purpose of becoming popular or taking advantage of our lineage. In highschool and in college he was just any average joe. But what sets him apart is his pure heart, his kindness, his gentleness, his meekness as a gift rather than a weakness, his pleasant company and just about everything about him makes up a great leader that our city needs. Let me also take the time to talk about or brag about my lil brother kaloi. HE is the silent one in the family. An artist by heart and in time, by profession. It didn't take long for me to realize just how good he is when he works with his hands. I remember when he can stay up all night with legos around him, building every ship, creature and every imaginable machine. I began to notice that he can draw incredibly when he started to fill his notebooks with cartoons. He rarely took notes in class and drew all the time. He looks at life in silence and in beauty. He is color-blind by the way and considers it a challenge rather than a handicap. There is more to my brother than just his passion for art. This bro of mine, though many times silent and who seem to have a world of his own is a source of wisdom. Like what they say 'silent waters run deep.' He thinks deep and think hard, I rarely see him cry and when I do, it just breaks my heart to pieces. The times that my brothers smile and laugh are those times that I enjoy the most with them. I am getting emotional, and just goes to show what I have been missing and missing out. My mom fills me in with stories of my brothers whenever I call home but it's not the same as being with them and sharing my life with them. They are the men in my life in addition with mi papa that I can love completely and wholeheartedly without reservations and without fear of not being loved in return. I have grown up and a lot has changed not just for me but for my brothers, mi mama and mi papa. One thing will always be the same no matter which road this life will take us, and that will be the blood that runs through our veins and the love that keeps our family close despite distance and despite time.





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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

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After Graduation Coffee with girlfriends (meh, tiffy and mah buh ef!)

the perfect way to celebrate.





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UPDATES!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

PACKAGE. Been in package training for a week. No taking calls for graveyard. Weehee!!! This is the last training I will have to undergo as an agent and I am seriously thinking of resigning by the end of the month. The thought of taking package calls scares me a lot, it doesn't help that I failed the Practical Assessment exam. There is unlimited retake they said. Hope that I will not blow my *toot* once I take calls on the floor.

CAM WHORING. Since I am on training for a week with a sched of 2PM-10PM I got to take my sleep during at night. What my tortured body needs for a long time now. I dreamt that I was a model the other night, yeah! It was only a dream but I took it a lil bit seriously. Inspired by that dream, I got infront of the webcam for some cam whoring... hahaha Evidence of my vanity. Just check my Flickr badge for poses. I put on a little make up as well. I never get to put make up since I have been working, make up is equals lip gloss. I miss the old times with my girlfriends. The bathroom back in college has been a witness of all our ups and downs. Sigi, if you're reading, remember debating days we had? hehehe I am a girl and I am entitled to being vain and like what we always say 'It's fun being a girl!' Sometimes!

140. That's my priority number for the new shift bid. I just numbered all the sched that has the SUN SAT FRI day off. I am letting fate take its place. I don't care much anymore what my new sched will be for the next shift. I can be very flexible with my sched as long as rest day is SUN. Fact is that since I started working, my day off has always been SUN. I am more concerned on my new sup.


TAE BO. Rox introduced me to Tae Bo, Gnet became my Tae Bo buddy. We have a goal to attend daily Tae Bo sessions at Abellana. Like what I mentioned, a goal. Since training, I haven't shaked those bonbons. SOON though. What I meant by that is MONDAY na!


ROX. This girl is my Bestest bestfriend. We were like inseparable back in highschool. Reunited when I got a job here in CEBU. What can I say? This girl is someone nowhere to be found. Everyday I take a guessing game to guess where she is. It's pretty simple actually, I take out my cellphone and get the list of numbers where I can reach her and start calling each one until I find her. Easy aint it? This game has been going on since her cellphone decided to take a dive in water. If I were her boyfriend, I would have given up looking for her and prolly take a hint that I am not on A list. But then again, a bestfriend has the capacity to be more patient and besides I love this girl down to my very bone or should I say to the very marrows of my bone. I look forward to hanging out with you soon buh ef. I know the waves of school work drowned you out. Hey, I know school is priority and I'm always here. We'll catch up on a lot of things although there really isn't much catching up with my life. I am still pretty much cooped up in work.

ALMA. Miming... my precious cat. Wish I could save enough money to visit my other Bestest Bestfriend in the other side of the country. I miss you girl. I miss coffee at dunkin with you. I hope the next time is soon.

GNET. I like GNET a lot! We had not only spent oodles of time at work but even outside. I think she is more my friend than my supervisor. She took me out to my all time fave bargain hunting and of course ukay-ukay. I am about to be endorsed to a new sup by end of the month. As to who that new sup is, only time can tell. I can only hope and pray that he or she will be someone who can be my friend. I can only say thank you for all the good times net! I am happy for you and Richie. You deserve the best man.

NOVEMBER 6 and 8. I marked those dates in the calendar. I first came here to CEBU November 6 last year and if I endure 3 more weeks, I will officially celebrate my first year anniv. I first started working 2 days after here in PS. I can still remember how the company shelled off P6,000 cold cash on my first day and to think that I haven't even started the job yet. I took the interview, the exam, the final interview, resigned from my job, got on a boat to CEBU in a matter of 2 weeks. That was fast, I didn't even had enough time to say goodbye. I don't know what is in store for me in the future. Like what my mom would always say, 'let's just cross the bridge when we get there.'





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dolphins and children

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


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Reading Test



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Tuesday, October 11, 2005


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A hug from BLUE

We had a very interesting blue day last week at the office. We celebrated Customer Service week with fishballs and 'dirty' ice cream. There were blue balloons hanging all over our station. Everyone at our team wore shades of blue as an outfit by Friday.

What made me really smile and feel like a kid again was the BLUE mascot. He was dancing and Oh my gaadd! It was such a cute sight. I felt like my tummy turning into a complete mush feeling like a kid again. It was like being in a birthday party cause there were balloons all over the place except that we were at the office and I was wearing a headset. We waited for everyone after our shift so we can watch the movie Into the Blue starred by Paul Walker and Jessica Alba. We call him 'POOL' walker. It's a joke in our team that really gets us laughing. All in all, it was such a grand BLUE day.





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Wednesday, October 05, 2005


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I finished this series last week. It was for four days and I had to sacrifice some of my sleep time to attend. I was always late for 15 minutes. It was handled very well by Eryk. There were only 3 of us who attended, one of them is one of our advisors. She was agent avery. She's really one of the coolest advisers on the floor. I learned a lot from her and especially in handling very difficult calls. Our advisers are the one who handle the difficult we get, they even take a lot of sup calls from irate customers. I can only imagine the kind of job they're holding. They do get a better pay but the calls they handle are nerve warcking. Maybe next year, if I find myself still doing the same thing, I'll prolly take the challenge to apply for that job. Not at this time.

There's a new feature in friendster where you can check who's viewing your profile for the month. I seldom check my friendster. Maybe once a month. I found out about it last week. I did try to check on my ex who's now in CANADA. Hahaha! Why do I always end up in the habit of checking out about him on friendster. I was looking at his pics before and I can't help myself and smile. We did end up as very good friends but due to some unforeseen events, i think were lying lo for now. I wish to patch up things with him. It's not because I want him back, believe me, it's a bit impossible considering the distance that we have. It's the friendsip I guess. Ironically speaking, I had water-flavored coffee (it tasted more like water than coffee) at dunkin with my bestfriend rox the other day. I was telling her that I read somewhere on the net that it's not good to be friends with your ex. and here I am, wanting to be friends with mah ex. I can be very contradictory sometimes.





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Tuesday, October 04, 2005



The other day I fended off a guy whom I believed is taking the time to know me. He offered to become my bestfriend. Okay, fact is, I can never be bestfriend with a guy whom I don't have emotional attachment with. I sort of was a bestfriend to all 3 bfs I've had. So, it's kinda traumatic. I know he was just being nice. I was brutally honest in telling him that I don't want to go through the emotional drama of being involved. I'm no player either, I haven't use the power to flirt. Not that flirting is bad, it's innate in every woman. I just don't want keep his hopes high so I cut it even before any root can take place.

Talking about root, I feel myself being tossed back and forth. My roots are shallow. My heart is set on establishing myself, a career, goal, a plan, a future and a family. To take root and bear fruit. I feel like being on a crossroad. While my family hopes for my return, I find my heart wandering far. Go to places, visit countries, learn a new language and meet people from different cultures. I have the promise of youth. The reason why I am unattached its because there are so many things that I can still do while I am still single. I do dream of a partner someday but I am taking my sweet time. Who knows I will only be single once. And when the right time comes, I will cherish each moment I have with my future family. I know it's like a dark forest out there, full of traps yet it is also full of myteries. I dream to discover, to achieve, to overcome and to challenge myself. I have faith that we are capable of great things. It starts with giving, our time, and our best efforts. For now, I think I will just take my sweet time to discover. Going home is a possibility, staying is a possibility and moving on is another possibility. I hope that whatever path I take, I will look back and not regret what I chose.





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Monday, October 03, 2005

 

Chili



 I have been having tae bo sessions with my sup. It feels good to shake those bonbons once in a while and it really helped me a lot.





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